Hi everyone,

this currently keeps me busy. When re/acting on something I find it very hard at times to distinguish whether this just was an ego-reaction or a self-action. Where does the comfortable feeling that follows the deed come from? Even things that please and comfort others can be strongly ego-driven, I feel. I earn respect when I do something for others, I distinguish myself from others when I am the one who does the uncomfortable stuff. So this is not unity, this is not love - or is it?

From which indicators within you can you tell that something had been done without ego-interest?

Best wishes,

Andreas

Could it be "the comfortable feeling that follows the deed" a valuable indicator of a self-action and love? I think it is love, even when it appears blurred!

Best wishes
Stefania

Well, that is what I am suspicious about. It seems more like self-love than love for others.
At times i feel a lot of truth in the view that what we experience as joy is suffering in real. What we think is suffering is really joy. I was so fortunate to deeply experience and understand it once and found it to be very valid.
Maybe the answer is simple - it is real love when we don't question it any more and when this feeling is un-shakeable, unconditional.

Suggestions:

Ego: we measure an action by optimal output. before an action we think about what might be the best way to do or say something and we visualize how we will appear to the others. If the action is done we keep thinking about it and how good or bad we presented ourself. the initial action could have been self, but the ego kicks in afterwards and occupies our mind.
we search for possibilities to appear better.

Self: action arises spontaneously and seems to find the right solution for everyone without effort. once the solution is there, we don't think much longer about it. our mind ticks the situation and moves on. there is no quest for a better solution once the situation is ticked. the outside appearance doesn't matter, the outcome feels right.

...any further characteristics?